Q: Why did you name your product "Crapola"?
A: When you add the first two letters of the word 'cranberry', the first two letters of the word 'apple', and the last three letters of the word 'granola', you get "Crapola"! Genius, isn't it?
Q: Who put the 'bop' in the bop shoo-wop, shoo-wop?
A: Probably the Russians.
Q: Does Crapola need to be cooked? How do I eat it?
A: If Crapola is your first exposure to granola, let us first say thank you for giving our product a try. While developing our recipe, we intended Crapola to be enjoyed as a cold cereal. Our granola is fully baked and it's ready to eat right out of the bag. Go ahead, just try a little handful when nobody is looking. Otherwise, try it for breakfast - just add milk and enjoy. Lots of folks tell us they like Crapola with yogurt and/or fresh fruit. Some of our adventurous customers occasionally tell us about creative ways they have prepared Crapola as a hot cereal, or incorporated it into cookies, dessert toppings, and other recipes. There are no rules.
Q: Is your granola wheat free or gluten free?
A: None of our granola contains wheat. Our original Crapola flavor does contain barley and rye (and therefore gluten). The other three flavors (Number Two, Colonial Times and Kissypoo) are all made with grains that do not contain any gluten.
Q: Your package says that Crapola "makes even weird people regular". How much should I eat?
A: Crapola is not medicine, and it's not a dietary supplement. You can eat it just like any other cereal. Don't be afraid of the name. Crapola is simply a good source of fiber, which is an important component in a healthy diet. If you would like to learn more about dietary fiber, we recommend this link: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fiber/NU00033 . Remember the three pillars of regularity: adequate hydration, exercise, and dietary fiber intake. The recommended serving size of Crapola is 1/2 cup. That's a good place to start. Our dog once ate an entire bag and he lived happily ever after (by the way, fiber makes even dogs regular, too).
Q: Where can I find the nutrition information for your granola?
A: Click the "Ingredients" tab for nutrition info.
Q: Where do babies come from?
A: Go ask your mother.
Q: Why does your granola cost more than cereal from bigger name brands?
A: We make artisan-quality granola. Our price reflects the use of premium ingredients and small batch production.
Q: I am a billionaire. Can I buy your business?
A: Sorry, we are privately held and not for sale.
Q: Do you ship outside the United States?
A: It's amazing to us that people all around the world want our granola. It is technically possible to ship our product to international destinations, but the cost of shipping is more than the cost of the product itself.
Q: Are you open to the public?
A: Yes! We are now open to the public at our flagship production facility. Please visit us at 16 N 1st Ave E in beautiful Ely, Minnesota.
Q: What's the story behind your pet chicken on your hat?!
A: That chicken was named "Red" (she's a Rhode Island Red variety) and she had been spared the soup pot after clucking her way into our hearts. Several years ago our small flock of chickens was apparently attacked by a predator. Two hens were missing completely, and Red was badly wounded. We put her in a small enclosure inside our home to let her recover in peace. We grew on eachother, and she practically became a pet. We just grabbed her on a whim for our original Crapola photo shoot, and I put her on Andrea's head for a prank. The photo on the back of our bag captures that spontaneous moment. Red lived out her years as the matron of the flock. She stopped laying eggs, but we kept her around for her pleasant demeanor. Although she has now flown to that great big coop in the blue yonder, she is forever immortalized as the infamous crapola chicken.
Q: When will my order ship?
A: We ship orders as soon as we can, depending on the bakery schedule and order volume. Sometimes orders ship the same day we receive them, other times it may take close to a week. We appreciate your patience with shipping. Rather than making our products ahead of time and using older stock to fill orders, we prefer to make fresh product for incoming orders and ship it when we are able. It gives you the freshest granola possible. You will receive an email notification when your order ships.
Q: How will my order ship?
A: Your order will ship via USPS priority mail. We gladly ship to PO boxes and APO/FPO addresses
Q: What is the shelf life?
A: We mark every bag of granola (on the back, near the top) with a "best by" date six months from the day it's made. We guarantee an unopened bag to remain fresh for that long. If you have opened the bag, we recommend that you reseal the zip top inbetween uses. The enemies of freshness are moisture, oxygen, time, high temps, and sunlight.