Why did you name your product "Crapola"? 

Because "Cheerios" was already taken!  Actually, it's a play on words.  When you add the first two letters of the word "cranberry", the first two letters of the word "apple", and the last three letters of the word "granola", you get "Crapola"!  Genius, isn't it?

Does Crapola need to be cooked?

Crapola is intended to be a cold cereal, and it's ready to eat right out of the bag.  Just add milk and enjoy. 

Do you make any other flavors?  Can you make gluten-free or nut-free varieties of your product?

Sorry, but at this time our production ability is limited and we do not have the capability to make different varieties of Crapola.  We really wish we could accomodate everyone's dietary needs, and we do plan on expanding our offerings in the future.  But we're a small company and we don't have the resources to develop new products right now.  Patience, grasshopper....

Where do babies come from?

Go ask your mother.

Some of the oats in my Crapola have a blue-colored tint.  Is that mold?

NO!  Those are rye flakes (remember, there are five different whole grains in Crapola) and that is their natural color.

Your package says that Crapola "makes even weird people regular".  How much should I eat?

Crapola is not medicine, and it's not a dietary supplement.  It's food!  You can eat it just like any other cereal.  Crapola is a good source of fiber, which just so happens to aid bowel movements.  Don't be afraid.  The recommended serving size is 1/2 cup.  That's a good place to start.  Our dog once ate an entire bag and he lived happily ever after  (by the way, it makes even dogs regular, too).

I have a store that would like to sell your product.  Do you sell Crapola by the case at wholesale prices?

At this time, we are not accepting any more retail accounts.  The demand for Crapola far exceeds our ability to make it, and athough we would love to send truckloads of it around the country, we first need to increase production capacity.  Our new bakery is under construction right now, and we can not expand until it's finished.  Stay tuned....